How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
