why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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