If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
