What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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