It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
