I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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