and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
