its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize