I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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