why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
