Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
