i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize