Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
