i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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