The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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