Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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