I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
