After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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