So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
