im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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