you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize