what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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