You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
