ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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