if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
babies were throwing up all over the place
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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