Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
