I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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