1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
