its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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