1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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