I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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