So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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