Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
