he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Vodka?
Forever.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
