Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
