your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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