Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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