U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
