you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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