Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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