just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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