honey bunches of taint.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
