Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
