it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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