I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
