I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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