Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
