Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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