paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
