I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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