i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
