He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We are two peas in an std pod
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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