is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
