you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just blew my weed a kiss
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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