Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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