weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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