Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
