My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
