How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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