Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
