We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I cut my penus on the lid.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
