We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
