so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
