Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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