The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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