we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
