Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I wish you could order shots online.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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