jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
