how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
